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-source: Nairobifeed

10 Advantages Of Living Together Before Marriage

Recently I was posed with a question- why would you choose a live-in relationship instead of a love marriage? Love marriages have been around for a long time and have come to be accepted as a normal thing. However, live-in relationships are still seen as a scandal.

After a lot of thought, I realized the answer- a live-in relationship is that place between a mere relationship and a life-long commitment, and it helps you understand if you and your partner actually want to spend your lives together. So, we put together this list of the many advantages of a live-in relationship and why it might actually be essential to live together once before getting married.

10. Spending More Time Together

Live-in relationships allow you both to spend a lot more time together. You and your partner can spend Sunday afternoons in bed with pizza, or greet each other after a hard day at work. Their face will be the first thing you see in the morning and it’ll be the last thing you see at night. Spending time together helps you figure out how much space you need for yourself too, without feeling smothered.

9. More Communication
When you’re in a live-in relationship, you communicate more with your partner. You understand what they want without them saying it. Live-in relationships help you bridge that communication gap which occurs when you’re both in different places. Better communication also helps in a successful marriage.

8. You Learn More About Your Partner

Live-in relationships give you all this time to spend with your partner, which you use to discover more about each other. You get to listen to their work stories, the funny thing that happened to their cousin that one time, or the story of how they coped with the loss of their first grandparent. You know more about the things they like or don’t like. You might discover that they snore, if they sleep-walk, or if they have a side of the bed. You’ll realize you barely know anything about them!

7. Managing Finances

One of the biggest advantages of living together before marriage is figuring out how to manage finances among you two. You and your partner both develop an understanding on how to allocate both of your salaries into your living expenses. Living together helps you split the costs in a way that you both are comfortable with, which continues into your marriage.

6. No In-Laws To Tell You What To Do

Yes, most couples live alone after marriage, but you still have a couple of your in-laws drop in every now and then. They might rearrange your furniture, or sit you down to give advice on marriage. But impressing the in-laws can wait until marriage, and until then you can focus on making the two of you work. After all, a marriage is a family affair but a live-in relationship is just about the two of you.

5. Bonding On A Deeper Level
When you’re in a live-in relationship, you and your partner bond on a much deeper level than a relationship. Their likes will become your likes, their dislikes will become your dislikes. In the words of Ted from How I Met Your Mother, you become a ‘We’ instead of an ‘I’. However, you can figure out how to be your own person in a live-in relationship, which is difficult to do after marriage due to all the additional responsibilities.

4. Marriage Doesn’t Seem So Scary Anymore

Many marriages fail because both partners fail to gauge the seriousness of it. Or worst case scenario, your partner develops cold feet before marriage because they think you’re not the one for them. The universal increase in divorce rates is another reason why marriage doesn’t really seem all that appealing anymore. However, living together helps you both get a test-run of marriage, how actually spending the rest of your lives with someone be. After going through that, the idea of a long-term relationship doesn’t really seem that scary anymore.

3. Freedom To End Things If They Aren’t Working Out

Yes, you might break your partner’s heart or they might break your heart if one or both of you decide it isn’t working out. You have to accept it and understand that living together before marriage gives both of you a choice to end the relationship if needed. While it may be a tough decision to part ways, at least you both will be at peace knowing that you made an effort to turn your relationship into something much more serious. It will help you move on, and find someone much more suitable for you.

2. You Don’t Have The Stamp of a Divorcee

When a marriage doesn’t work out, the only option left is a divorce. While divorce helps you get out of the legal bond of marriage and help you find someone new, you will always have the ‘failed marriage’ sword hanging over your head, which makes people hesitate before getting serious with you. However, when things aren’t working out in a live-in relationship, both you and your partner can make the decision calmly to go your separate ways, and that’s that. No hassle of a legal breaking of bonds or having all your nosy relatives dig into your life and see why the marriage failed.

1. Learning If You’re Compatible

Perhaps the biggest and most important advantage of living with your partner is figuring out if you both are compatible enough for a marriage. Many call a live-in relationship the ‘ultimate test’ to see if things can work out between you and your partner. You will learn if you can handle their habit of sleeping with the TV on, and they’ll see if they can live with your habit of hogging the sheets. A live-in relationship will help you realize how to share your life with another person, and you have to be compatible enough with them for doing that. If you aren’t, well, you always have an out. If you both are compatible, then Mazel Tov! We already hear the wedding bells ringing.

Live-in relationships were earlier (and still) considered a taboo by many. However, when you think practically, it is essential to live together at least once before you get married. It helps you figure out what it takes to make a marriage work. Marriage isn’t a walk in the park, it takes every bit of effort you have to make it work. And a live-in relationship gives you an edge while tackling a marriage. It is due to that fact that live-in relationships are gradually coming to be accepted by many across the world.